Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992) – This look is sooo not sexy.

With all this talk of Colin Farrell, True Blood and Eric, it’s easy to forget that there are some not so sexy vampires out there. Honestly, vampires didn’t start out as the glimmering, sparkly swoon worthy creatures we know, love and fantasize about today. It wasn’t until Gary Oldman got all spiffed up for us in Bram Stoker’s Dracula in 1992 that vampires started to get hot. And then of course Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt as vampires from Anne Rice’s smash hit Interview with the Vampire in 1994 made sure we would never think of vampires with harsh widow’s peaks and black capes as the norm again. Nope, suddenly vampires were hot.

Yet vampires weren’t always so sexy and attractive. In fact, in the beginning, despite all the Freudian references, there was nothing sexy about them at all. Even today not all vampires in movies are sexy. It just goes to show you that we still like our vampires mean, ugly and scary. These are the kind of monsters that nightmares are made of, and there is absolutely nothing sexy about them. Here’s a look at 5 of the un-sexiest vampires in film.

5. Nosferatu

Despite being the godfather of vampires on film, there is nothing dreamy about Nosferatu at all. It’s quite the opposite. If the way he does that Nosferatu skulk casting shadows on the walls isn’t enough to creep you out, then his exaggerated ears, long talons and decidedly rat like face and front teeth certainly will. Doesn’t he look a teensy bit like an undead Peter Pettigrew from Harry Potter?

4. Bram Stoker’s Count Dracula

Good old Vlad the Impaler had some serious glamour. He was pretty suave with the ladies too. Yet underneath his glamourous sex appeal was a beastly and ghastly creature. He could be pretty on the outside when he wanted to be, but just below the surface of his appeal lurked the many faces of death. His numerous incarnations of the dreaded blood drinker that stalked the night definitely do not rank very high on the sexy meter.

3. Marlow from 30 Days of Night

There is absolutely no relation to sexy here. This vampire inspires nothing but absolute mind numbing terror. He doesn’t even register on the sex-o-meter. He is the type of monster that evokes nightmares instead of fantasies. Absolutely ruthless, this vampire makes no bones about how he looks at humans. We are nothing but dinner, inferior, inconsequential annoyances. With a visage, demeanor and attitude like that, there is absolutely nothing attractive about this blood drinker.

2. Vampires from Daybreakers

Russell Edgington would have been proud to call these vampires cohorts in the belief that humans are food. The vampires of Daybreakers will give you a heart attack instead of a fluttering heartbeat. Humans are an endangered species in this flick and the vampires are more interested in foraging for food than finding romance. The starving vampires morph into Subsiders, rapacious and hostile creatures resembling giant bat-like monstrosities whose natures remind me of zombies. In fact, you could say it is the decided lack of sexy that has led to the danger in the vampiric food supply. No willing necks to bite! ;D Now here’s a culture that could definitely use way more than a drop of True Blood in more ways than one. There is definitely no sexy here so we might as well take our sexy scale elsewhere, since these vampires are definitely not sexy, especially when they are starving.

1. Vampires from Priest

Rabid, alienesque demons, these unsightly Korean comic book based vampires are all business. You are more likely to shut your eyes and say your prayers than dream about them buying your house in a lustful and obsessive attempt to own you. Annihilation, extermination and domination is printed in bold letters on their calling cards and an encounter with one of these bad boys is likely to only end up one of two ways, dead or as a familiar subservient to them. Unless Paul Bettany happens to be in the vicinity. These vampires are definitely not the kind to write home about and there is no sexy scale in sight when it comes to these UV sensitive demons.

Are there any other vampires that inspire shivers of horror instead of squeals of delight that aren’t on this list? Who did I miss? Who do you think should be on this list?

I’ve often wondered what it would be like to have a random conversation with one of the True Blood characters. I’m sure it would be thrilling considering that they are either vampires or one of the other supernatural creatures of legend and mythology. It can probably also be a tad bit dangerous. So, if I had a chat with Bill Compton, this is probably how it would go down.

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Me: Good evening, King Bill.

King Bill: Good evening, Miss.

Me: Now this is something I have always wanted to ask a vampire. Do you think you’d ever participate in a Polar Bear Swim on New Year’s if it was held at night?

King Bill: …that is not something I choose to participate in.

Me: Moving on then. What is your solution for Pam’s situation?

King Bill: Unfortunately my hands are tied at the moment. In the meantime, maybe there is a…a cosmetic solution. Maybe some extra lipstick.

Me: Yeah, I don’t think that is going to work out. Funny how dudes think a little extra lipstick can solve everything.

King Bill: *Chagrined look from King Bill.*

Me: *I clear my throat.* If you had an opportunity to be the New Old Spice Guy, what would your opening catchphrase be since you couldn’t use “Hello ladies”?

King Bill: Goodevening…my name is Bill Compton.

Me: Mhmm. Kinda boring, don’t you think?

King Bill: You are in a locked room with no means of escape…

Me: Yeah, I don’t think that would go over too well with marketing. Let’s move on. So it seems to me that Eric Northman has a knack of pissing you off.

King Bill: Yes, he does that.

Me: *I get the feeling he doesn’t want to talk about Eric so I switch gears.* Everyone has been talking about whether or not J.K. Rowling will or will not be writing anymore Harry Potter books. She says not. What do you think?

King Bill: I will glamour her to be certain.

Me: You seem to be fond of doing that. *I look away a little flustered and ask the first absurd question that comes to mind in an attempt to distract Vampire Bill.* So, what do you think about bull fighters and rodeo clowns?

King Bill: Insanity comes with the job. *Bill smirks sarcastically.*

Me: *Relieved there won’t be any glamouring this evening, I carry on.* Do you have any advice for aspiring writers, screenwriters and filmmakers?

King Bill: Don’t be afraid. Don’t be afraid. Don’t be afraid.

Me: So this whole witch thing is pretty crazy, huh? *This is a gamble. I’m aware he doesn’t want to talk about the witches or about Eric. I laugh nervously to ease the tension.*

King Bill: You think witches are to be laughed at? *Bill looks extremely menacing suddenly.*

Me: *I brazen it out.* No quite the contrary. I take this very seriously. As do you I presume?

King Bill: *With a considering look, Bill decides to answer me. I sigh imperceptibly.* Vampires have often found it advantageous to maintain a hidden presence in humanity’s most powerful institutions. And in the 1600′s that was the Catholic Church. And today, as you all know, it’s Google and Fox News.

Me: Thank you for such a gracious answer, Your Majesty. Now I know you don’t like to discuss him, but my readers expect me to ask the hard questions. The last time I saw Eric Northman —

King Bill: *An angry and shocked expression comes over King Bill’s pale face and he rushes over to me. He is very angry and very menacing now. I cover my throat and hope for the best.* …You can kiss Eric Northman goodbye. You’ve seen him! Where is he?

Me: *I try to keep my composure.* Gee, you sure get upset whenever someone mentions Eric —

King Bill: *King Bill’s fangs pop out.* Do not lie to me.

Me: I wasn’t —

King Bill: Where is he?

Me: *My voice comes out in a squeak since King Bill and I are now nose to nose and his fangs seem very large and pointy up close.* At Sookie’s…

King Bill: *Bill retracts his fangs with a snap and he looks crushed. His voice is pained when he speaks.* Sookie’s?

Before I can answer, Bill whooshes away with his vampire speed, and that effectively concludes our brief and random conversation with Bill Compton, Vampire King of Louisiana. It is very clear to me that the mere mention of Eric’s name in the same sentence as Sookie’s will elicit a heated reaction.

It is also my guess that he is headed straight over to Sookie’s and she has got some explaining to do, and Eric is in big, big trouble.

I can’t wait to see what happens on tonight’s episode. Can you?

“The boy who lived come to die.”

I love everything that Harry Potter stands for — courage through adversity, finding the strength within, the power of love and the bonds of friendship, and faith, above all, faith that when the chips are really down, you’ll have the power to conquer any obstacle because of the faith you have in yourself. I did immensely savor this epic finale to a fantastical fantasy saga. The ending was poignant and hard earned by our beloved characters and it was a final installment filled with all the magic and adventure we love in our Harry Potter films.

As part of a whole, and even separately, it does deliver most admirably. This film boasts a score filled with reminiscence of bygone adventures and David Yates and Steve Kloves do pay homage to the themes J.K. Rowling poured into this wonderful work of fiction. The CG was seamless, awe inspiring and masterful, and enhanced the story without overwhelming it. The writing of Steve Kloves was stark and to the point, and the action was fast paced and always moved towards the end with purpose, and without any lulls that allowed the mind to wander. And the end was tied up nice and tight and even had a bow on it, and the only thing left to our imaginations is what will life be like for our heroes now that the peril is over? It is a film that is almost perfect and brings to a bittersweet close an unforgettable adventure that spanned a decade.

The opening scenes of Part 2 set up the calm before the storm and Harry (Daniel Radcliffe) and his faithful friends are regrouping before their final battle. Before long the audience is swooped up into another daring adventure as Harry, Hermione (Emma Watson) and Ron (Rupert Grint) search for the remaining Horcruxes. There is a sense of urgency that is magnificently conveyed as is the danger of this life and death quest. They’re not practicing spells at Hogwarts anymore. No, this is the real deal where one wrong move can end up costing the lives of those Harry loves.

The malevolence of Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes) and his horde of evil doers is fully realized and no longer reduced to shadows and whispers. His reign of fear and tyranny is in full swing and he is indeed terrifying to behold in all his glory. And yet for all this majestic evil unveiled, for the first time we can also marvel in the fact that Voldemort is not invincible and that Harry just might have a chance in defeating him.

In Part 2 our characters are fully developed and both we and they know exactly who they are. They are also no longer children shouldering burdens that the young shouldn’t have to carry; now they are capable, adept and fierce wizards who have grown to adulthood under our ever watchful eyes and they are set to defend Hogwarts where they will have their last stand against Lord Voldemort. Even Hogwarts itself, a place that was once a hallowed, mysterious, kooky and off the wall place, is now a grim sentinel of all that is good in the world.

The most emotionally moving moment of the film comes when Severus Snape’s (Alan Rickman) true part in all of this is revealed. We have the good fortune of going back in time and delving into his most private memories and we see a man with a heart capable of a deep and abiding love and duty. He is a man who has been forced to become the villain. Where once you reviled him as a traitorous killer, you will ultimately see him as a man willing to take the fall and be the bad guy who will do what he must in order to give Harry and his friends a chance to succeed. More than any other character in the movie, he has been sorely misjudged by all and sundry — even Harry.

And Dumbledore (Michael Gambon), the man who seemed to be the magnetic north of these films, the compass by which Harry steered through a life fraught with danger, is a man whose nature is called into question. Were we wrong to trust him all along? Was he so devoted to prophecy and duty that he was the most duplicitous of anyone? Even at the end he is a wizard that will remain a true enigma.

Ultimately in this film the past 7 installments coalesce into one final swell, weaving every nuance and bit of story that we’ve experienced over the years into one whole. It is definitely one of the darkest of all the films with some disturbing and sinister moments and deaths. Yet the way they handled Harry’s questions about death and what is next after life was treated in such a beautiful and peaceful way that it was easy to accept the tranquility Harry felt about these themes and this thing we call life.

We see characters we hate finally get theirs (and we cheer about it), we see our favorite wizarding teachers finally show us what they’re made of, and it’s like a reunion of sorts as we get to see for a final time on the big screen characters we’ve come to know like friends. We even get a deeper understanding of the kind of wonderful people Harry’s parents were and the love they shared and had for Harry.

We see mild and sweet Mama Weasley (Julie Walters) lay it down in a “Nobody messes with my kids!” kind of fashion which is so utterly awesome; and Neville Longbottom (Matthew Lewis) becomes a gallant hero showing us the courage and bravery that lay all this while in his shy heart, and we can be happy for Luna Lovegood (Evanna Lynch). We finally see true love bloom and blossom between Harry’s best mates and comrades in arms, Hermione and Ron. It’s a love that beautifully culminates in a sudden unexpected, but long awaited kiss that has us laughing right along with Ron and Hermione with pure joy.

It’s also reconfirmed in our hearts why Harry is the Chosen One. His courageous and selfless heart reaffirms for us once again why we have loved this boy wizard from the moment we set eyes on him so many years ago.

Unfortunately, the final battle is shocking in its brevity. Being that this is the moment we’ve been waiting for for 10 years — the final epic showdown between two of the most powerful wizards in the land, the different sides of the same coin — audiences may feel that it should have been more spectacular and filled with such an unbearable tension that by the end of the battle you were weak with relief that it was over. Instead Voldemort is vanquished in a way that seems almost too easy and it’s over before it really started. And moments before, even the death of his terrifying pet snake seemed too easy and slightly discordant, though it did afford Neville the chance to shine.

And the final scene, well, I won’t expand too much on it, but I find it ironic that in a franchise spanning a decade that was all about the most outlandish magic, magical places and mythical creatures, it was here in these final moments where I was most unwilling to suspend my disbelief. Is it because I’m just too sad to see the end of a 10 year story that will live in my heart forever? Or is it because I wish this film would have been a little longer and a little less frantically paced? Or is it because I fear Harry and his crew are now destined for a normal life of ordinary?

It’s the end of an era in film history and yet I do not feel that absolution of spirit that I quested towards for all these years. I left the theater feeling like something was missing; like I was missing that ultimate feeling of overwhelming satisfaction that settles into you after bidding farewell to well loved characters and a beloved story. I was close to it, but mostly I’m just left feeling sad. Afterall I have invested 10 years of my life in this franchise and 10 years of intense emotion.

I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that the saga of Harry Potter is one in a million and we may never see the likes of it again. And despite the feeling of sadness I am left with, I know that in the end, things ended the way they needed to end for Harry, Hermione and Ron. As far as endings go, I do think that this film was almost perfect. I’m also left thinking about the saying, if you love something, let it go. And though letting go is hard to do, it is indeed time to say goodbye to Harry Potter, the boy who lived.

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Read more from Kyra Dawson at TheMoviePool

Our favorite wizarding trio.

How many kids grew up with this saga? How many parents and adults grew older with this franchise? (hehe) As we have grown and changed, so has our favorite wizarding trio, three kids who have brought some magic into the lives of millions of fans around the world. And though it seems that Harry Potter has been with us forever, in fact it has only lasted a decade. However, a lot can happen in 10 years, and there were a lot of things that happened in this 10 year long saga. So Warner Bros. released a featurette that takes a look back at the blockbuster franchise, it’s Harry Potter in a 5 minute nutshell, highlighting the events in the entire saga.

It all ends on July 15th with Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2, but before that happens, let’s journey back in time to where it all began…

Thanks Matt for the heads up!

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It’s the end of a magical era.

All good things come to end. Sad but true. After a decade of Hogwarts, wands and our favorite wizards and witches, the uber popular Harry Potter series of films is coming to an end. Maybe you’ll cry and maybe you won’t, but Harry Potter has changed the way we look at films and books and writing forever. The impact this story has had on the world will reverberate through time and will be hailed as a classic when our children’s children are taking English lit in school. And just like millions of you, this writer will miss having some Harry Potter-ish to look forward to.

J.K. Rowling says it best,

“No story lives unless someone wants to listen. So thank you, all of you.”

At no time in literary or cinematic history has this statement been more true than with the Harry Potter series. Harry Potter is truly the boy who lived, and he will live with us for a very, very, long, long time, because the stories we love best really do stay with us forever. What will you take with you from this epic story?

Enjoy this clip of the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 premiere in London.

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