Conan the Barbarian is a remake that isn’t so much a remake as it is a re-imagining of a well known cult classic. It’s filled with blood and battles, swords and sorcery and violent action right out of the gate. It delivers a new Conan, different in many ways from the old Conan, a new spin on a familiar story, and the opportunity for sequels in the future.

Here is the official synopsis of the movie:

The tale of Conan the Cimmerian and his adventures across the continent of Hyboria on a quest to avenge the murder of his father and the slaughter of his village.

Director: Marcus Nispel

Written by: Thomas Dean Donnelly, Joshua Oppenheimer and Sean Hood

Cast: Jason Momoa, Stephen Lang, Rachel Nichols, Rose McGowan, Leo Howard

One thing this film did better than the original was to give the viewer more of a sense of connection with Conan (Jason Momoa). He was born on the battle field in a traumatic way and we empathized with a child who grew up without a mother and so we understood his anger. After witnessing the death of his beloved father Conan vows to have vengeance against the men who were responsible. As a full grown man Conan seems to have lived an almost carefree existence, fighting and wenching his way through life, though we discover thoughts of avenging his father are never far from his mind.

Conan repeatedly pitches himself into situations where the odds were always greatly stacked against him. He really wholeheartedly embraces his mantra, “I live, I love, I slay and I am content.” Having no real ties to family he has a wreckless, devil may care attitude, wandering the land and seas as both thief and pirate, liberating the oppressed with an almost Robin Hood-esque flair until a chance opportunity for vengeance arises.

There isn’t a whole lot of dialogue in the film though there is a lot of grunting from Conan and a ton of battle cries from his many and diverse adversaries. The violent action sequences are plenty and at times the noise from clashing swords and the bashing of bodies and skulls is mind numbing and overwhelming. But keep in mind this is a sword and sorcery movie so that is what you came to see and hear.

And then there is the sorcery. Most of it is understated and part of the movie’s mythology. There’s magic tied to the Mask of Acheron and Marique (Rose McGowan) is so obviously a sorceress of some skill, while Khalar Zym (Stephen Lang) wants to practice necromancy and has been waiting 20 years for his chance. And let’s not forget Tamara’s (Rachel Nichols) pure blood that has the power to unlock the ancient mask.

The one thing that was pervasive in my mind was that though Momoa made a very intimidating Conan —he was extremely intimidating in Game of Thrones as Khal Drogo which made him perfect for this role— he wasn’t as awe inspiring and colossal as his predecessor in the original Conan movies. Though Momoa is impressive and can carry this film, his screen presence just didn’t possess that same overwhelmingly imposing quality as Arnold’s Conan did.

Most likely this is due only to the fact that Arnold was Mr. Universe before he was Conan and no one had seen a man as hulking as Arnold was at that time. And maybe it’s simply due to the fact that I was an impressionable pre-tween who was boggled by the sheer size of Arnold and that alone made a lasting and indelible mark on my psyche that is impossible to excise.

Thankfully though Momoa didn’t try and do an Arnold impersonation. If he did he would have failed horribly. Instead Momoa brought a different kind of Conan to the screen, one who had a swagger and more appeal for the ladies, smart remarks and quick wit for a barbarian, and a brooding anger always simmering just below the surface. His scar fit right in with his barbarian persona and his scowl is more menacing than any I’ve ever seen. Admittedly Momoa cut a fine figure when he did his Conan the hero money shots and he wielded his sword with a confidence, dexterity and skill as only a true warrior could.

Casting Jason Momoa as the iconic Cimmerian was wisely fortuitous as it does seem like it was inevitable that he play Conan. Leo Howard’s performance was definitely riveting and one of my favorites in the film. Rachel Nichols as Tamara was a refreshing spitfire who I could see Conan falling for. Stephen Lang as Khalar Zym wasn’t as over the top of a villain as he usually is though he did manage the role with his usual finesse. Ron Perlman as Corin was the epitome of the stoic, wise and revered warrior, leader and affectionate father. Rose McGowan as Marique was the unexpected surprise of the film playing an eerie, creepy and evil villainess with a macabre efficacy, vamping around half naked with a pronounced receding hairline and almost overshadowing Lang as Conan’s nemesis.

Marcus Nispel has a music video background and I found his style of filming quite interesting. The battle sequences were very fast paced and full throttle while the quieter moments were handled with a sparseness quite fitting to a movie like this.

The story was quite a departure from the original movie, so much so that one could say the new Conan lore harkens back to the books. There was some homage paid to the original film but it was obvious right from the get go that this wasn’t a remake of an original but a new franchise with a familiar character. Though it was mostly fast paced there were moments where I felt my senses being dulled because the movie seemed at times like one long endless battle.

The score when you could hear it was perfect for the film hinting at a distant time and a distant land where magic and barbarians could have lived, loved, slayed and been content. The sounds of battle, violence and Marique’s finger nails scraping against stone were jarring and overwhelming to the senses but more than suitable for this fare.

The 3D didn’t seem to make much of a difference and I could have done without it. The landscapes were dark and stark if not quite epic while the effects were very graphic. There was nothing mind boggling really and the standout scene for me was the fight with the sand warriors.

Obviously this film was made with fans of the cult classic in mind to a certain extent, though rigorous adherence to the original went out the window for the most part. Fans of the books will be pleased and most viewers will unavoidably compare this new Conan to the old Conan. Mostly this was a film that was made for boys between the ages of 15 to 25 who like role playing video games filled with mayhem and carnage, or anyone who is a fan of blood and battles, swords and sorcery movies.

Overall you have to give Jason Momoa credit. He was very brave to take on this role did his best to fill some titan sized barbarian boots. Whenever a remake is done of a cult classic that has such an archetypal, legendary and iconic character emblazoned in everyone’s mind, anything that comes after will unfortunately pale in comparison. While Conan the Barbarian was definitely not the best the film of the summer, it certainly wasn’t the worst either. And while Momoa didn’t erase the memory of Arnold from our consciousness, he did manage to put a fresh take on an old story and give a fresh face to a well known Cimmerian warrior.

Conan the Barbarian gets a 6.5 out of 10.

ΩPhoto Credits

Tomorrow I’m going to go and see Conan the Barbarian starring Jason Momoa, so I have been desperately trying to avoid spoilers of any kind because I don’t want to go into the movie with any preconceived notions. Spoilage is everywhere and it has been very hard not to take a sneak peek at any of the reviews that are being posted like wildfire online. Maybe I wouldn’t care so much if I didn’t have such high hopes for this movie, which is for me the last film of the summer.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to this movie. And despite some extremely unflattering pics (not these ones BTW), I am still willing to give Momoa the benefit of the doubt as far as this movie goes. But I was totally looking forward to Green Lantern too in a big way and I am sad to say that I was disappointed in a big way. So what is the worst that can happen with this Conan reboot? Well, it could suck. Here are 3 reasons why.

1. Jason Momoa – There. I said it. I liked him on Stargate Atlantis and I really liked him in Game of Thrones. He is the epitome of a healthy barbarian. Unfortunately for Momoa the role of the iconic Conan the Barbarian has some pretty huge boots, and those are some pretty huge boots to fill. I’m afraid I might be helpless not to compare him to Arnold who I idolized as a teenager. I have to give Momoa credit though for taking this role knowing exactly what and who he is up against. Can he carry a movie with so much expectation attached to it? Will he disappoint? Or will he swing a sword like it’s nobody’s business?
2. Rose McGowan – Not much to say here.
3. The Story – The screenplay is written by Thomas Dean Donnelly (Sahara), Joshua Oppenheimer (Sahara) and Sean Hood (Halloween: Resurrection). I am in no way saying that they are bad writers. I’m just worried that the story is too completely re-imagined and doesn’t strictly adhere to the original flick’s storyline in ways that matter. I’m worried that my psyche will balk at the new mythology and want strict deference to the old lore. Though they do include some adherence to certain details from the original film and Conan character I’m wondering if that will be enough of the old in the new?

Yet me being the eternal optimist that I am, I want to look at this glass as being half full. So I’ve also thought of 3 reasons why this new version of Conan the Barbarian could rock too.

1. Jason Momoa – He has very big muscles, looks mean as heck, and looks like he can wield a sword like nobody’s business. His scowl alone has me shaking in my boots and he could give Arnold a good run for his money and effectively replace Schwarzenegger in our collective conscious as the archetypal legendary barbarian from here on in.
2. The Effects – CG and the magic of special effects have come a loooong way since the 80′s. I’m betting there will be some pretty amazing, stylish and knock your socks off effects.
3. The Story – Deviating from the original mythology definitely gives the writers room to go big or go home. Freedom to imagine new heights of barbarian glory, battles and colossal awesomeness could be a very, very good thing. Including enough homage to the original film as long as any tributes are strategically placed (think Rise of the Planet of the Apes, my favorite film of the summer, where they did this very skilfully) could only appease fans of the old film and give this new film a well deserved place next to the original.

I’m not usually pessimistic, but I’m afraid that Arnold’s Conan is too well embedded in my mind and that I most likely will be comparing Momoa to Arnie the whole time. I will try my hardest not to though and hopefully I can go into this movie tomorrow completely tabula rasa. Here’s hoping.

So what do you think? Do you think this new version of Conan the Barbarian will suck? What are your reasons? Or do you think and hope like me that it will rock?

Warning! The Red Band Clip is graphic!

Synopsis: The tale of Conan the Cimmerian and his adventures across the continent of Hyboria on a quest to avenge the murder of his father and the slaughter of his village.

ΩPhoto Credits

Russell Crowe and Cate Blanchett in Robin Hood directed by Ridley Scott.

This Robin Hood is an ace movie about the infamous and legendary hero Robin of the Hood. At first you may think it is a movie about his exciting exploits as an outlaw alone, however, it is much more than that. It’s a movie that depicts who he was before he was the Robin Hood we all know and love, and what forces made him into the larger than life outlaw of Sherwood Forest. We also get to meet all our faves, Lady Marion, his merry men Little John, Will Scarlet, Friar Tuck, and of course, everyone’s favorite villain, King John the royal runt.

This is a movie about the origins of an outlaw beloved by the people. It is a story that is gritty and very true to the medieval way of life, real historical events expertly woven with intricate English folklore. I found it a refreshing take on a famous medieval tale that has been told a thousand times before.

Ridley Scott‘s version of Robin Hood, starring Russell Crowe and Cate Blanchett is out today on DVD! Woohoo!

~P.S.~ This movie has a strong message of fate coursing through it. What about you? Do you believe in fate?

Clash of the Titans starring Sam Worthington

“Release the Kraken!” Oh, how I love it when Zeus says that. And yes, I have been accused of geekery every now and again, but believe me, there are far worse vices than love of mythology.

The Clash of the Titans reboot starring Sam Worthington as demigod Perseus, Liam Neeson as the mighty, philandering Zeus himself, Ralph “I love to play villains like Voldemort etc…” Fiennes as crusty old Hades, and last but not least, the gorgeous Gemma Arterton of Bond Girl fame as Io.

Blast from the past_Clash of the Titans 1981

I thoroughly enjoy men in skirts, and my DVD collection just would not be complete without the new and improved version of Clash of the Titans. I will place it right next to my old 1981 version. And for the record, I really enjoyed the remake. I thought it was slick and dazzling in all the right places. Despite the many nay sayers who liked to say, “BOO!”, I recommend it. You’ll learn a little about mythology if nothing else. And of course you’ll get to replay that line by Zeus, “Release the Kraken!” as many times as you want! Come on, admit it. You secretly love that line! I know I do!

Clash of the Titans is available practically everywhere today. Are you going to get a copy? Well, get Kraken!

Russell Crowe in Robin Hood

Is anyone else saying, “Yay!”? Well, I remember the old Robin Hood (yikes! that was many moons ago!). You know the one with Kevin Costner and that catchy Bryan Adams song. (Loved that song! So did everyone else who got married that year.) Even though I loved that film, not everybody else did. In fact, in some circles, Kevin Costner was panned for everything from his hood to his higgledy piggledy English accent. Unfortunately, his credibility as a top box office draw went into decline with Waterworld and The Postman. No Dances with Wolves either of them, though The Postman was waaay better than Waterworld. Sorry, KC.

Kevin Costner in Robin Hood Prince of Thieves 1991

I also remember thinking KC’s version of the man in tights (remember that spoof flick with Carey Elwes, Robin Hood Men In Tights? LOL’s!) was really good. I mean, what was there not to love? You had Robin of the Hood himself, his merry men and a love story between Robin Hood and the fabled Maid Marian. It was a movie about the complicated relationships we have with the people in our lives, and how events in our lives can lead to one defining moment. It had a killer soundtrack (I still like to write to that score), and great actors, and more than a few good laughs. It was a movie about bravery, courage, sacrifice, swashbuckling action, fable, myth and lore. You got some back story on how Robert Locksley became champion of the poor — which was very intriguing because Robin Hood’s origins were shrouded in mystery. Even now there is intense scrutiny as to whether or not Robin Hood actually existed. The movie spawned a whole bevy of documentaries about Who really was Robin Hood? Those docs spoke of an actual real Robert of Locksley and pointed to the fact that the bandit of Sherwood Forest could in actual fact be real. For me, a history buff, it just didn’t get any better than that. AND, Costner’s Robin Hood movie was romantic! I was 15 and I still existed in a dreamy fog where love conquers all.

Cary Elwes in Robin Hood Men in Tights 1993

Yet even back then in the tenderness of my youth, I felt that there was something missing. There was a part of me that I am only familiar with now that wanted more. How can I not get more when my dream cast is in this reboot of Robin Hood? I get some serious shivers of thrilled delight and anticipation at the thought of watching the synergy these talented people will create on screen! I believe Ridley Scott, Russell Crowe and

Cate Blanchett as Marion Loxley in Robin Hood

Cate Blanchett (everything she touches turns to gold!) will give me the rush and satisfaction I’ve been yearning for in a Robin Hood movie. Why do I have faith? Let’s just say it’s because   Gladiator fit the bill for me in every way, which is another Ridley Scott and Russell Crowe collaboration. Was I not entertained? Oh, hell yes! Gladiator was gritty and honest and fierce, even excruciating at times, so I am hopeful for the same experience with this version of Robin of the Hood. I couldn’t define what I wanted when I was a kid, but I can definitely give voice to it now. History was a brutal place, humans fought hard for the civility we have now. When I step into my time machine and go to the movies, I want some truth in my epic historical fantasy depictions. I want to see the struggle, feel the pain and endure the sacrifice. I want to taste the triumph and revel in the glory. I want to feel like I was there. If we’re going to do a movie about rising up against tyranny, and the oppressed fighting for justice and equality, let’s do it then. Will I get what I’m looking for in this version? If I was a betting woman, I’d bet that this movie will be a kick a** Robin Hood flick! Not to say, however, that KC’s version doesn’t still hold a very fond place in my heart.

Anyhoo, that is my essay on my excitement to see Robin Hood. And to prove my point that there is still an intense interest in just who was this hooded hero?, History TV is airing a 2 hour documentary exploring the Robin Hood legend. Case closed. Robin Hood rocks. Can’t wait to see Russell Crowe’s Robin Hood break out that famous bow! Long live the outlaw! This is your Brighter Scribe signing off to watch the History Channel!

~”Rise and rise again until lambs become lions.” ~ Russell Crowe in Robin Hood