True Blood “I’m Alive and On Fire” Review: Everyone Is Getting Burned In One Way or Another


Well, tonight’s episode was short and not so sweet, except for the scenes between Eric and Sookie. Those were so sweet they were almost syrupy, but you just can’t help but say, “Awww!” Yet even Eric managed to feel the burn and if the title was based on any one character’s storyline tonight, I’d say it was Eric’s. (Last week was Jason’s.) So let’s get to it!

So when we last saw Eric and Sookie, she was giving him heck for dining on her Faery Godmother Claudine. Now she’s worried Mab’s faery goons might show up at any moment so she tries to hustle Eric inside. But wouldn’t you know it? The big Viking is drunk! He guzzled so much faerie blood that he is so drunk he actually falls over. And then, wanting more, he goes to nibble on Sookie for dessert.

“Eric, you’ll kill me, no!”

This cry of alarm from Sookie breaks through Eric’s stupor and looking quite appalled that she thinks he would hurt her, he tells her that he would never hurt her. Obviously she is quite special to him even in this amnesiac drunken state. Then he playfully pinches Sookie’s butt and it’s so funny because even though Eric in his right mind seems capable of much mischievousness, I still can’t imagine him being downright playful. Anyhow, as we expect Sookie squeals with mock outrage but she still can’t herd the big vampire into the safety of the house. Eric wants Sookie to catch him, so he takes off into the night. Alarmed for him because dawn is right around the corner and he doesn’t seem like he can handle himself if someone tries to harm him, Sookie takes off after him, albeit at a much slower pace.

At Fangtasia, Bill is questioning Pam about Eric’s whereabouts. When is Bill ever going to learn that trying to get Pam to tell anyone anything about the Northman is like trying to get blood out of stone? No luck there Bill.

“You like the feel of it, don’t you Bill? That crown?”

Yes, Pam, he probably does is all I can say in answer to your rhetorical question. Bill leaves none the wiser.

Now the next scene is disturbing and disgusting to me on so many levels. Not only because the woman on top of an unwilling Jason is a gross mean bully on Hung, but because what she’s doing to Jason is just so absolutely wrong. And then crying and carrying on… All I keep saying is, “Poor, poor Jason.” The thing he’s always been so proud of is the cause of all his current troubles. You really need to choose better women Jason. Right now he’s on the conveyor belt of breeding and I just don’t know how he’s going to recover.

But he does manage to escape. Becky has been sent in for her turn and here we see that Jason is actually a big romantic. He tells her that a girl’s 1st time should be special and with someone you really like who really likes you back. Becky, who never wanted any part in this horror anyway, takes pity on Jason and cuts him free. Jason takes off running.

Meanwhile, Nan is giving Bill an earful for sending Eric after a bunch of Wiccans. This is not something she can take to the authority.

“No dead humans!”

And there’s an unspoken “OR ELSE!” attached to that order. Uneasy is the head that wears the crown, hey Bill? After all, nan does have a point. How many retired kings (or queens) do we know?

Marine is in the throes of a dream where she sees what happens to the evil spirit who possesses her every once in a while. Here she is in her human form tied to a stake and is about to be burned. Since this is just a vision the evil spirit is giving her, Marnie is unable to do anything, though she calls out for this horror to stop. Unfortunately we know that the witch is going to burn. What a horricble time in history. I can’t wait to see more of this witch, who obviously hates vampires, and her history. She begins to burn and there is nothing Marnie can do about it…

Alcide shows up at Sookie’s door in answer to her request for help. How nice it must be to have hunky vampires and werewolves as friends, hey? Alcide strips down and shifts into werewolf form, all the better to smell a vampire, my dear. He and Sookie take off searching for an errant Northman.

Maxine shows up at Merlotte’s on the war path. She is worried about Tommy and tries to pick a fight with Sam who doesn’t bite. Sam manages to keep his zen — those “anger management” classes must be working, hey Sam? — and Maxine finds it strange that Sam does lose it. And I’m surprised too because she sure tries hard to get a rise out of Sam.

If there’s one thing you can rely on Felton to be it is a disgusting pig, and he doesn’t disappoint when he starts to question Becky about her time spent with Jason. It doesn’t take the genius long to find out that Jason has flown the coop and the hunt is on. Felton and his panther posse take off hunting for Jason.

L, J, & T (sounds like a Lafayette, Jesus and Tara sandwich, don’t it?) have cornered Marnie and are trying to convince her to reverse the spell for all their sakes and the sakes of the coven. They don’t know the extent of Marnie’s evil counterpart’s power just yet, but when they do, I bet it won’t take long for the wheels to start turning in Tara’s head. Unfortunately Marnie can’t reverse the spell. She has no clue how. It wasn’t her who spelled the Viking, she pleads, it was her. And we know her who, but Tara doesn’t.

“Her who?”

Tara always asks the pertinent questions, doesn’t she? Anyway, they convince Marnie to give it a go, but Marnie has no luck reversing the spell. Surprised? No? Me neither.

Sookie and Alcide’s vampire hunt ends up at the edge of a lake. And who pops out of the water all smiles and cuteness? Well it’s the Northman himself frolicking away in the sunlight! He invites Sookie to come and play the Norse goddess to his Norse god and he promises to slay the sea monsters, aka “krokidilers” that he calls to oh, so sweetly. Alcide watches all this, his werewolfy face perplexed by the new Eric hijinks. But alas, no sooner did the fun begin than it is over when Eric begins to burn, literally, and feel unwell.

“I don’t want to go back to the darkness.”

Poor Eric. Sookie covers him up and croons to him soothingly like one would a sad child and tells him to run back to the house and that she will follow. Eric obeys and Sookie and Alcide follow him.

As Jason stays one step ahead of the panthers who are tracking him, Tommy is reuniting with his mom. Anyone else think this is the epitome of a bad move? I tell you I have never trusted Melinda. She needs a T-shirt that reads, “BAD MOM”.

Sam makes a surprise visit to Luna’s and Luna isn’t pleased. And just when you think she has another dude on the house, a little girl comes outside. Well, SURPRISE! Baby shifter’s out of the bag.

After a quick glimpse of more running from a beaten and bruised Jason, we catch up with Eric and Sookie just as Sookie is tucking the vampire in.

“Stay with me. Please.”

How Sookie can resist such adorableness I will never know. Eric pleads so sweetly! Alcide is eavesdropping on the pair as he stands outside and when Sookie comes out him and Sookie have a brief argument over the fact that Eric is in Sookie’s house. But one well placed barb about Debbie and it blows all the steam out of Alcide sails. They hug it out as “friends”. And when you have vampire hearing, I guess it’s hard not to eavesdrop, right Eric?

Tired of running and knowing he has to make a stand, Jason does his best Rambo and hides in tree as he sharpens a spear made from a thick tree branch. He drops out of the tree onto the panther who is standing under the tree and plunges the spear into the wildcat. Jason kills Felton who manages to swipe at Jason and slice him up on his leg with his panther claws before shifting back into his human form and dies. And who should appear? Well it’s Crystal.

“I’m Big Momma Kitty now.”

Your also a big piece of work, Crystal. Jason wants no part of her or her plans. But he may not have a choice come the full moon, will he? And I agree with you wholeheartedly, Jason. Crystal really is the worst thing that ever happened to you!

Portia has taken Bill to meet her and Andy’s grandma Caroline. Bill is at his charming best. Excuse me while my eyes roll back in my head. Bill’s parlor room antics are nauseating. But Andy, or should I say Andrew is funny. He’s just itching to get out of there. Now where have we seen Grandma Caroline before? Knot’s Landing? Hmmm…

Sam is working his way into Luna’s… heart and is being real sweet and indulgent towards Emma. He tells Luna she should have told him she had a daughter and that he wouldn’t have taken off. I believe he is genuine when he says this. And since it’s a time for truth, Luna tells Sam about her stalker ex who is Emma’s dad and a werewolf. I can see this causing Sam some trouble, do you?

Marnie and L, J & T are still searching for the spell that will set things right and having no luck. Marnie is calling upon her spirit guides who don’t seem to be listening until a book drops on the floor all on its own. Can this be where the reversal spell is perhaps?

Back at Alcide’s and Debbie’s, Alcide returns home and you just KNOW Debbie can smell Sookie all over him. I just have one thing to say, “Alcide, if you think for one moment that Sookie doesn’t bother Debbie in the WORST way, you are in for a surprise!” I’m just not buying Debbie’s I’ve turned over a new leaf bull.

Back in the Bellefleur parlor, Bill is in for a shock. If he had a heartbeat it would have skipped a beat when he finds out that Portia is his great-great-great-great granddaughter. Let’s move on. I just don’t even want to contemplate this ish, and neither does Bill as he makes a hasty departure. So did Grandma BTW. Portia runs after Bill and forces him to tell her why they can’t see each other any more. Well, do you really want to know, Portia?

Talking about ignorance is bliss, Terry is no longer deluded that Mikey is is his son. The baby has scrawled in bright red magic marker BABY NOT YOURS on the wall. This understandably freaks out the whole family. Except Mikey who is giggling away.

Sookie visits a depressed Eric who is mourning the fact that he’ll never swim in the sun again and see the sunlight in Sookie’s hair. Poor vampire. He’s feeling the loss of his humanity all over again.

“If you kiss me I’ll promise to be happy again.”

And if it wasn’t for Eric sensing Bill at Sookie’s door, we might have seen Sookie kiss that big blonde Viking. Damn you, Bill. You ruin everything!

With the perfect excuse to see Sookie, Bill arrives at Sookie’s place and intends to do search of the premises for Eric, since it’s the only place in the world they haven’t searched in this game of “Where In the World Is Eric Northman”. Sookie tells Bill a bold faced lie but it is enough to guilt Bill into not searching the house.

A very sick Jason collapses on the side of the road. Luckily for him Jessica and Hoyt are driving by and find him. See Jason? I TOLD you you had a Faery Godmother! Jessica feeds Jason her blood, (ahem, Hoyt, not everybody finds Jessica’s blood gross) and I’m wondering if Jason is going to fall for Jessica now. That would be one interesting love triangle considering Hoyt and Jason are BFF’s.

And even though you know it’s comin’, it’s still a horrible sight when you see Joe Lee Mickens snarling mug as he wraps a chain around Tommy’s neck. These two seriously take the award for world’s most horrible parents. Can you say BETRAYAL with a capital B? Melinda never left Joe Lee after all. They were just waiting for the perfect moment to trap Tommy and make him fight in the ring again. And with Joe Lee promising viciously to teach Tommy the meaning of the word obedience, well, despite the fact that Tommy can be a little turd, I feel so sorry for him. His life is about to turn to sh*t and I don’t know if Sam will be there to save him this time.

L, J & T have brought Marnie to Pam as promised and Pam isn’t impressed by the stupidity of the coven. I mean, what kind of witches can’t reverse their own spells is right, Pam. And look, there’s tara with her gun again. I don’t know why, but Tara is starting to bug me now.

“Fix my Maker!”

Well, this is one time Pam is out played. The evil spirit chooses this moment to appear and she casts a spell that reveals Pam’s “true self” and wouldn’t you know it, but beautiful Pam is turned into a rotting stinking corpse right before our very eyes. Horrified, Pam takes off. Now L, J & T have to know that they are the top dogs in Bon Temps now. And with an evil spirit and Tara hating on vampires like they do, I can see a whole lot more spells and mayhem being cast on vampires. This does not bode well for the undead. But, I’m sure Pam will get even with the Wiccans one way or another before this season is over. Haven’t we learned that you don’t mess with Pam?

Take a look at next week’s episode. Enjoy! 😀

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Kyra Dawson

By day I'm at Brighter Scribe or blogging at The Scribe's Desk about fantasy, sci-fi, horror, mythology, movies, TV, music, books, humor and some other entertaining ish. I'm also a published author who enjoys random acts of writing, video gaming, the art of fangirlling, and indulging my Inner Perpetual Teenager diligently. I'm also a regular contributor at Cinelinx and am passionate about giving back to the community.

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