True Blood “I Wish I Was the Moon” Review: Showdowns and Reckonings

****DIVERT YOUR EYES AND COME BACK LATER IF YOU HAVEN’T WATCHED THIS LATEST EPISODE OF TRUEBLOOD BECAUSE THIS REVIEW IS CHOCK FULL OF SPOILERS!!!! BUT MAKE SURE TO COME BACK AFTER YOU’VE WATCHED IT AND TELL US YOUR TRUEBLOOD THOUGHTS!!!!****

Tonight’s episode of True Blood was the peak of the season in so many ways. It was a full moon tonight on the show which means all sorts of crazy is going on, and if you are a supe, well, you feel it keenly. Tonight fans of the long awaited romance between Sookie and Eric were finally gratified. After four long years of waiting, we finally see Eric and Sookie get together. And we owe it all to Bill. Yes, I did say Bill. It seems Bill values something more than power and revenge, and that is Sookie and her happiness, and he proved it beyond the shadow of a doubt tonight. But tonight wasn’t only about love and romance. It was also a night of showdowns and reckoning. And there were quite a few showdowns and quite a few reckonings.

Sookie and Eric have entered the safety of their house, kissing passionately as lovers do. And of course we discover that the prim Sookie is wearing pristine white unmentionables which made me chuckle. And who should appear suddenly? Well, it’s King Bill, all fangy and fierce. Showdown number 1. Though Bill is angrier than a bear, Eric is way stronger and before long has Bill by the throat choking him out. But the funniest part of this brawl is how Eric tosses Bill to the side like a ragdoll with a mere flick of his wrist. Bill slams into the fireplace and falls to the floor. Eric is on him quick as a panther and is about to stake him with a fire poker when Sookie tells him Bill is Eric’s king. WOOPS! Eric begs forgiveness of his king , falls to his knees and bows his head. Bill is sufficiently perplexed. It would really be quite hilarious if this wasn’t so bad for Eric.

Back at Bill’s, it’s showdown number 2. Bill is pulling the “you lied to me” card on Sookie. Sookie comes back with a “don’t you dare lecture me about lying” card that trumps Bill’s card any day. Eric tries to defend Sookie’s actions and Bill has Eric silvered. Now, you see what is going on here, right? So do I, and so does Sookie and her and Bill have it out. But Sookie’s a clever gal and pulls the “if you ever loved me card you’ll let him go” card. Bad play, Sookie. Especially when your new lover is the old lover’s rival in all things Sookie. And even a worse play when he’s just walked in on the pair of you in flagrante delicto. Now I don’t know why, but for some reason I feel like Eric and Sookie got busted. Even though technically Bill and Sookie are broken up, I’m so used to Bill saying “Sookie is mine” that’s it’s burned into my brain.

Anyway, Bill tells Sookie it’s strictly business. VAMPIRE business and tells her MYOB. Of course Sookie has to declare she’s not leaving without Eric. And Bill kicks her out, having her escorted out by his goons and warns her not to trespass. Bill’s thinking is clouded by the red haze of jealous anger methinks.

Eric is left to cool his heels in Bill’s silver dungeon and guess who his cellmate is? Well it’s Pam and she’s hiding under a blanket. It’s no use hiding because a) Eric can smell her and b)Sookie told him he’s Pam’s maker so he commands her to come out. Pam’s a rotting mess and she’s pissed and distraught. Reckoning number 1. Despite Pam doing her best to lay it down for Eric, he’s just not picking up. And he doesn’t want to. Pam realizes things may never go back to normal and they’re foobarred.

“You’re a Viking vampire god and you bow down to no one.”

Bill reports to Nan and blows the Eric situation WAY out of proportion and throws in a blatant lie or two for good measure. He gets a pat on the back and Nan will get back to him on that warrant for giving Eric the true death. And I’m hating Bill right about now.

FIRE at Terry and Arlene’s. The house goes up in an exploding blaze, but luckily everyone got out OK. Especially Mikey who was already outside sitting on the lawn with his creepy doll by the time everyone else got outside. This was showdown number 3 by the way. Evil Renee ghost demon 1 Terry and Arlene zero. Oh, and did I mention Mikey saw a spirit outside that no one else can see?

The next day Sam is on the scene and Andy shows up and it’s showdown number 4. It’s a war of words between Andy and Sam and it’s the laugh out loud moment of the night. Sam is tired of Andy throwing his weight around and harassing him. If Andy doesn’t cut it out, Sam threatens to turn into a Doberman and rip Andy’s face off. And what is Andy’s comeback? He’ll call Animal Control and get Sam put to sleep. The look on Sam’s face is priceless. Hilarious. I have to say Andy won that round.

And who’s the man? Well it’s Andy again scoring points with Holly by showing off his muscles and helping her out. And even though he got the signals she was giving all wrong, Andy still managed to score a date. He’s on a role today, but I have a feeling it won’t last and Andy and Holly’s date might not go as planned. It’s Murphy’s Law where Andy is concerned.

Sam calls Tommy and asks him to open Merlotte’s, which you just know Sam will end up regretting. Tommy is Depressed with a capital D. Then, when he least expects it, he spontaneously shifts into Sam! Tommy doesn’t know he can shift into another human because he killed his shifter parents. And I think Sam forgot and just doesn’t think something like that would ever cross Tommy’s mind in a million years.

Lala and Jesus are having breakfast with Don Bartolo. It’s showdown number 5. Jesus has asked for protection from the vampires and old grandpa isn’t exactly impressed or eager to help. He demands a sacrifice from Jesus and then maybe he’ll help. No one expected it to be easy. This showdown is a draw since Jesus maintains his dignity despite his grandpa’s barbs.

Back in BT, Tara is woken up by a knock at Lala’s door. It’s Naomi. Showdown number 6 and reckoning number 2 all in one. Tara finally comes clean and gets slammed to the floor for her efforts. But then they kiss and make up so there really are benefits to telling the truth.

Sookie calls Jason for help with Bill and goes to “Sam” to let him know she won’t be able to work. “Sam” tears a strip off her, wondering out loud why everyone thinks she’s so special and fires her on the spot. It’s a harsh moment and showdown number 7. Next “Sam” runs into Maxine and lets Sam have it with her own guns a-blazin’. She’s hurt that Tommy left her high and dry so you can’t blame her.

Sookie goes over to Jason’s and finds him handcuffed to the bed. Now it’s not what she thinks it is, but it’s not one of Jason’s brightest ideas either. He wanted to make sure he couldn’t hurt anyone when he shifted into a panther later that night. Sookie speaks the obvious about panthers and handcuffs and realizes Jason’s werepanther talk is FUR reals.

Alcide comes home to find packleader Marcus Bozeman chatting with Debbie. Seems Debbie gone and joined Marcus’ pack without Alcide’s input and Alcide is not impressed. Marcus apologizes for having alpha’d Alcide too hard the other night and invites Alcide very politely to join the pack. He stresses the point that they need a strong wolf like Alcide in these dangerous times. He leaves and Debbie smooches up to Alcide pleading with him to join the pack with her. And you know he will, the big softy. Alcide may be big and buff and tough but he’s all heart where his women are concerned.

Back in Bill’s dungeon, Marnie is passing the time offering yet another blood sacrifice to the spirit and begging for help. Well, what do ya know, Marnie? Ask and ye shall receive. She gets another very vivid and detailed vision of the witch/evil spirit Antonia being drained and violated by Luis. As she’s burning at the stake, she manages to control the vampire priests and they walk into the sun and burn. It’s really terrible what Antonia went through and you will be outraged at what the vampires of the church did to her and her Wiccan sisters. However, revenge against the vampires who wronged you is one thing. Getting even with Eric, Pam and every other vampire who now exists is another.

Marnie comes back to reality and who should be standing before her? It’s Antonia and this time she not only enters Marnie, she possesses Marnie and it doesn’t look like she plans to go back to the underworld anytime soon. Oh, Marnie. You may have gotten more than you bargained for.

Lala and Jesus are out in the Mexican desert night waiting for an animal sacrifice to come to them. Lala’s not thrilled about it and extremely skeptic so imagine his surprise when Jesus snatches a rattler from the ground quick as a whip. There’s your willing sacrifice. Now what? I bet you Jesus’ sexy score just went up on the meter for Lala a few points.

Jason and Sookie are hanging outside in the dark waiting for Jason to change into a werepanther. Jason’s being dramatic asking Sookie to shoot him at the first sign of fur and you just know that isn’t going to happen. I’ll tell you what does happen and you just see it coming from a mile away. After Sookie delivers one of her sunshiny lessons on life according to Sookie talks, Jason asks her to run into the house to grab him a beer. And wouldn’t you know it that when she comes back, Jason’s gone. Come on, Sook! How could you not see that coming? So Sookie the intrepid grabs up the shotgun and heads into the woods searching for her brother… in the dark… on a full moon.

Tara has brought Naomi to Merlotte’s. Seems that now the truth has set her free, Tara is letting it all hang out now. They sit down and Jessica arrives to take their order. “Sam” has promoted her which is no big surprise since we know Tommy is crushin’ on the baby vamp. This doesn’t thrill Tara who is hating on all vampires and you know she’s going to find a bosom buddy in Marnie/Antonia somewhere down the line, right? One minute Jessica is taking their order and the next she’s zooming out of Merlotte’s on some vampire business.

Meanwhile Luna shows up at Sam’s and she has decided it is time the roll around so that is just what her and “Sam” do. Oh boy. I’ll say this. You steal Sam’s money and he’ll shoot you and forgive you, but steal his woman and something tells me he’ll kill you. Tommy is just bad. Bad, bad, bad.

Jessica shows up to rescue Jason and it’s like she’s some kind of vampire superhero. It’s so cute. She helps Jason through a panic attack and they talk about his impending turning. She decides to stay with him so he won’t have to be alone. Her and Jason have a bond now and there are definitely sparks between them. This will not make Hoyt happy.

Sookie runs into Debbie and Alcide who are on their way to a pack meeting. It seems every supe in the neighborhood is out in the woods tonight. But what are they doing in Sookie’s neck of the woods is what I want to know. She has a few theoretical werepanther questions for them and their answers put her at ease. Seems you can’t become a were anything just by being bitten because it’s genetic not a virus. Interesting.

Luna has noticed a difference in “Sam”. Their little get together wasn’t what she expected. It was as if they were strangers… Hmmm, listen to that woman’s intuition, Luna. “Sam” kicks Luna out rudely and Luna is pissed. The real Sam Merlotte is going to be in a pickle because of this. After Luna storms out Tommy shifts back to himself and gets violently ill. Looks like Sam is going to have more than one mess to clean up thanks to Tommy.

Jason doesn’t end up turning after all and he feels a little let down. He and Jessica agree not to tell Hoyt about their little hang out. How much do you want to bet he’ll find out anyway? And there are definite sparks between Jason and Jessica. I see another messy love triangle coming on.

At Bill’s, the king’s henchmen bring out Eric. Eric is meekly going to his true death. He doesn’t even drop a fang in his defense. Nope. Instead he asks Bill to free Pam and thank Sookie for showing him what it is to love. And he does this so sweetly. He even tells Bill that he hopes Bill and Sookie find their way back to each other because Sookie still cares for Bill and all Eric wants his her happiness. I scoffed at this only because I was thinking, poor Eric. Bill will not be moved by this, and if you think for one second Bill will tell Sookie any of that, well, you really are off your nut. But it was another really sweet Eric moment. Almost too sweet to be true. This is reckoning number 3.

Don Bartolo fills Jesus and Lala in on what Marnie is up to. He tells the couple that Marnie isn’t as harmless as she appears. She’s Bloodletting for possession and they aren’t even aware that it is her and the evil spirits she’s inviting that they should be afraid of. Then his face changes into the frightening brujo mask and he lashes out with the poisonous snake and it bites Jesus on the neck. With a cryptic “protect him” to Lafayette he and his wife/babymama go to their room and shut the door. Lafayette is left to take care of Jesus who is freaking out. Lafayette was right to feel nervous when Maria put the padlock on the door. The next thing you know Lafayette sees a spirit in the room with them. Without warning the spirit leaps at them and goes into Lafayette. Lala is overtaken by the spirit of Tio Luca and miraculously saves Jesus life. Definitely trippy reckoning number 4.

Sam comes home to find Tommy collapsed on the floor next to a pool of his own vomit. It’s pretty gross and Tommy won’t wake up. Guaranteed Sam is going to hit the roof when he finds out what his brother has been up to.

Tara and Naomi are chillin’ in the Merlotte’s parking lot when Pam shows up suddenly and it’s time for reckoning number 5. Pam is pissed off and I feel sorry for Naomi who really should have stayed in New Orleans.

Reckoning number 6 is between Luis and Antonia. For whatever reason, Luis decided to go down and see the witch. He knew it was Antonia, but still he went. He had no idea just how powerful she had become. Now it’s his turn to be the victim. In a remarkable display of her power and a flick of her wrist, Antonia makes Luis her slave. What is it they say about payback?

And in the sweetest surprise of the night, Eric appears out of nowhere in the woods and Sookie is elated to see him. Miraculously Bill was moved to release Eric because of the viking’s words. It seems Sookie’s happiness is more important to him than revenge and power after all. I guess he truly loves Sookie, and if there is a chance that Eric can make Sookie happy, well, Bill decided not to take that chance away from her. So, I guess you’re forgiven in my books for the time being, Bill.

Bill is standing on the veranda of his mansion, alone and heartbroken, and this lucky reckoning number 7, the biggest and most pivotal reckoning of the night as he realizes Sookie is no longer his in every sense of the word. I’m actually going to miss him saying “Sookie is mine” all the time.

We end the episode with Eric and Sookie in a tender and sweet love scene underneath the light of a full moon on the verdant banks of a gently flowing stream. Not quite the shower scene everyone was waiting for, but I think it was absolutely perfect.

Question is, how long will Eric’s reprieve last? And how much ish is Bill going to be in for not carry out the true death? I guess we’ll find out next week. And will Pam kill Naomi? Or will Tara stop Pam before that happens with her gun? And what is up with Tio Luca? And Antonia looks like she is going to turn the vampire world on its ear and have a lot of fun doing it. I can’t wait til next week. Can you?

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